Bereavement Counselling in London

Grief doesn’t arrive on schedule. It crashes into your life uninvited, leaving you gasping for breath in a world that suddenly feels unrecognisable. Perhaps you’re reading this through tears, searching for something—anything—that might ease the weight pressing on your chest. Or maybe months have passed since your loss, yet you still feel stuck, wondering if this hollow ache is now your permanent companion.

You’re not alone in this darkness, even when it feels that way at 3 am.

Bereaved people often struggle to find adequate support from friends or family. That percentage represents millions of people wrestling with grief in isolation, trying to be strong whilst feeling utterly broken inside. But here’s what those statistics don’t capture: grief is actually love with nowhere to go. And that love deserves witnessing, honouring, and gentle guidance towards healing.

Understanding Bereavement and Grief

What is Bereavement?

Definition: Bereavement is the state of having lost someone or something significant through death or separation. Grief is your emotional response to that loss—the internal experience of sorrow, yearning, and adjustment that follows bereavement.

Let’s clear something up straight away—bereavement and grief aren’t quite the same thing, though they’re intimate companions. Bereavement refers specifically to the objective fact of loss. Grief? That’s the tempest of emotions that follows, as unique as your fingerprint.

You might be grieving the death of a loved one—the most recognised form of bereavement. But grief doesn’t discriminate. Perhaps you’re mourning the end of a marriage that once felt unshakeable. Maybe redundancy has stripped away not just your income but your identity. Or you’re grieving the life you thought you’d have before chronic illness rewrote your story.

Common physical manifestations of grief include:

Chest tightness and breathing difficulties
Bone-deep exhaustion that sleep doesn’t cure
Foggy thinking and concentration problems
Appetite changes (loss of appetite or comfort eating)
Weakened immune system
Unexplained aches and pains

These aren’t signs of weakness—they’re your body’s honest response to profound loss.

When Grief Becomes Overwhelming

Key indicators that professional bereavement support might help:

There’s no official timeline for grief—anyone who suggests otherwise hasn’t truly grieved. But sometimes, grief transforms into something more complex, more consuming. The NHS recognises specific warning signs that indicate when additional professional mental health support could be beneficial.

Perhaps you’re stuck replaying those final moments on an endless loop, unable to accept what’s happened even months later. Daily tasks feel insurmountable—brushing your teeth requires Herculean effort, and the thought of returning to work sends panic racing through your veins. Relationships start fracturing because you can’t explain why you’re angry at everyone who’s still alive, including yourself.

When grief interferes with your ability to function for an extended period—when you can’t return to routine activities after many months, when the intensity doesn’t ease at all—that’s when counselling becomes not just helpful, but necessary.

Sometimes it’s not about the intensity but the isolation. When everyone else seems to have moved on after three months (that magical timeframe when support often evaporates), you’re left wondering if there’s something wrong with you for still struggling. There isn’t. Grief doesn’t follow social conventions or convenient timelines.

Buddhist Psychotherapy Approach to Bereavement

Summary: Buddhist psychotherapy, also known as Core Process Psychotherapy, is an integrative therapy combining Buddhist wisdom about suffering and impermanence with Western psychological techniques. It focuses on present-moment awareness and reconnecting with your inherent wholeness whilst processing grief.

Buddhist psychotherapy might sound exotic or mystical, but at its heart, it’s profoundly practical. This approach recognises that Buddhist philosophy has spent over 2,500 years studying the nature of suffering and how to transform our relationship with it. That’s quite a clinical trial, when you think about it.

This isn’t about converting you to Buddhism or teaching you to chant. Core Process Psychotherapy looks at how you are right now, in this present moment, and how past conditioning shapes your current experience. Rather than endlessly analysing your childhood (though that has its place), it focuses on your immediate experience of grief. What’s happening in your body right now? What thoughts are arising? How are you relating to these experiences?

The approach recognises your ‘core’—that part of you that remains whole and luminous despite everything you’ve endured. Buddhist philosophy calls this your ‘brilliant sanity’ or unconditioned self. Trauma and loss might obscure it, like clouds hiding the sun, but it’s always there. The therapeutic process helps you reconnect with this essential wholeness whilst honouring the very real pain you’re experiencing.

How Buddhist Philosophy Helps with Grief

Key Buddhist concepts that support grief healing:

Impermanence: Recognition that everything changes, including the intensity of grief
Mindfulness: Present-moment awareness without judgment
Compassion: Self-compassion and connection to universal human suffering
Non-attachment: Learning to hold memories with love but without desperate clinging
Acceptance: Acknowledging reality without approval or resignation

Here’s where things get interesting—and possibly challenging. Buddhist philosophy suggests that much of our suffering comes not from loss itself, but from our resistance to impermanence. Everything changes. Everyone we love will die. We will die. Rather than being morbid, this recognition can be strangely liberating.

When you were happy—truly, deliriously happy—did you spend that time dreading its end? Or did you simply inhabit that joy? Yet with grief, we often do the opposite. We resist it, fight it, believe it will last forever. Buddhist practice teaches us to be present with grief without drowning in stories about permanent suffering.

Mindfulness becomes a life raft here. You learn to notice: “Ah, grief is here now.” You observe its texture, its weight, where it lives in your body. And remarkably, you also notice when grief isn’t present—those moments when you laugh at something silly, then immediately feel guilty for forgetting your pain.

The Buddhist concept of impermanence doesn’t minimise your loss. Your person is still gone, and that absence is real. But it reminds you that your grief, too, will shift and change. The searing agony of early loss will transform—not disappear, but metamorphose into something more bearable, perhaps even meaningful.

Integrative Approach

Mark Shiels’ therapeutic integration combines:

Buddhist psychology (Core Process Psychotherapy from Karuna Institute)
Jungian analytical psychology (symbols, dreams, collective unconscious)
Gestalt therapy (present-moment awareness, personal responsibility)
Teachings from Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, Jack Kornfield

Mark doesn’t work exclusively from Buddhist teachings. This integration matters because grief isn’t one-dimensional. Sometimes you need to explore the archetypal dimensions of loss (the Jungian approach). Other times, you need practical tools for managing overwhelming emotions (Gestalt techniques). And often, you need the spacious compassion that Buddhist philosophy provides.

Mark’s training at the internationally renowned Karuna Institute—the only fully UKCP-accredited training in Buddhist Psychology in Western Europe—provides a solid foundation. But it’s his integration of teachings from meditation teachers like Thich Nhat Hanh and Pema Chodron that brings warmth and accessibility to the work. These aren’t abstract philosophies but lived practices that have helped millions navigate suffering.

The Stages of Grief in Counselling

Traditional Five Stages

The Kübler-Ross stages of grief (not sequential or mandatory):

Denial – Protective numbness and disbelief
Anger – Rage at the unfairness of loss
Bargaining – “If only” and “what if” thinking
Depression – Deep sorrow and withdrawal
Acceptance – Acknowledging the reality of loss

You’ve probably encountered Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief. Let’s be clear: these stages aren’t a prescription or a timeline. They’re a map of possible territories you might traverse, not a required journey.

Denial arrives first, usually. That merciful numbness when your psyche simply cannot process the magnitude of loss. You might find yourself setting their place at dinner or reaching for your phone to call them. This isn’t madness—it’s protection.

Anger blazes next, though not always. Fury at the unfairness, at the medical system, at your loved one for leaving, at everyone who still has what you’ve lost. Buddhist psychology doesn’t pathologise this anger. It’s energy, life force, proof you’re still alive and fighting.

Bargaining creeps in with its desperate searching for the reset button that doesn’t exist. Depression—though that clinical word barely captures the bone-deep sorrow—descends like fog. This isn’t a mental illness to be fixed but an appropriate response to devastating loss.

Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened. It means you’ve stopped fighting reality. From this place, impossibly, life can begin to grow again—different, forever marked, but genuine life nonetheless.

Buddhist Perspective on Grief Stages

Buddhist understanding of grief process:

Grief as waves in an ocean rather than linear stages
All stages can occur in one day or one hour
Finding meaning as a sixth stage (David Kessler’s addition)
Grief as love’s tribute to what was lost
Focus on being present with whatever stage arises

The Buddhist understanding sees grief as waves in an ocean—sometimes overwhelming, sometimes gentle, always changing. Recent research by David Kessler has proposed a sixth stage: finding meaning. This resonates deeply with Buddhist philosophy, which has always taught that suffering can be transformed into wisdom and compassion.

You might cycle through all five traditional stages in a single hour. Or spend months in one territory. The practice isn’t to rush through stages but to be present with whatever arises. “Oh, anger is here today. Hello, anger. What do you need me to know?”

This approach recognises that grief isn’t a problem to be solved. It’s love’s tribute to what was lost. Would you really want to stop grieving if it meant stopping loving? Of course not. So instead, you learn to carry grief with grace, to let it transform you without destroying you.

Who Can Benefit from Bereavement Counselling?

Common Reasons People Seek Support

Types of loss that benefit from bereavement counselling:

Death of spouse or partner
Parental loss at any age
Child loss
Pet bereavement
Suicide bereavement
Anticipated grief during terminal illness
Secondary losses (divorce, redundancy, health)

Loss wears many faces. The death of a spouse or partner can shatter your entire world structure. You’re not just grieving a person but an entire shared future, inside jokes that no one else will understand, the familiar rhythm of daily life together.

Losing a parent, even as an adult, can unexpectedly devastate. Suddenly, you’re nobody’s child. That safety net, however frayed it might have been, is gone. If the relationship was complicated—and whose isn’t?—you’re grieving not just what was but what can never be resolved.

Child loss defies nature’s order. Whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of an older child, you’re grieving not just who they were but who they might have become. Pet bereavement often comes with dismissive responses from others, yet the grief can be just as profound.

Then there’s anticipated grief when someone you love has a terminal diagnosis. You’re grieving while they’re still alive, feeling guilty for mourning someone who hasn’t died yet, exhausted from maintaining hope whilst preparing for loss.

Signs It’s Time to Seek Help

Clear indicators that professional bereavement support would help:

Persistent emptiness lasting many months
Unable to accept the reality of loss
Physical symptoms (insomnia, exhaustion, unexplained pain)
Relationship deterioration due to grief
Work/daily functioning significantly impaired
Feeling stuck in one stage of grief
Isolation after social support has faded
Simply feeling that you need help

How do you know when grief has become something requiring professional support?

If grief significantly interferes with daily functioning after many months, if you cannot accept the reality of loss, if you experience intense anger or bitterness that doesn’t ease—these might indicate complicated grief. But you don’t need a specific diagnosis to deserve support. If grief feels unmanageable, that’s reason enough to seek help.

The simplest sign? If you’re wondering whether counselling might help, it probably would. You don’t need to be completely broken to deserve support.

What to Expect from Bereavement Counselling Sessions

Your First Session

What happens in an initial bereavement counselling session:

Safe, confidential environment in a warm, non-clinical space
Opportunity to share your story without judgment
Assessment of your specific needs and goals
Space for all emotions (tears, anger, silence all welcome)
Focus on present-moment experience of grief
No pressure to “perform” grief in any particular way

Walking into that first session takes courage. The space you’ll enter at Mark’s practice is deliberately calm, warm and welcoming. This isn’t a medical consultation where you’ll be diagnosed and prescribed. It’s a meeting between two humans, one of whom happens to have training in accompanying people through grief’s landscape.

Mark will likely begin by simply asking what brings you here. You might find words pouring out—relief at finally being able to speak without someone trying to fix you. Or you might struggle to speak at all. Both are perfectly fine.

There’s no judgment here. If you need to cry for the entire session, that’s valuable work. The Buddhist-informed approach means attention to your present-moment experience. Where do you feel grief in your body? These aren’t abstract questions but invitations to inhabit your experience more fully.

The Counselling Process

Structure of ongoing bereavement counselling:

Typically weekly sessions (adjustable to your needs)
50-minute sessions as standard
Focus on transforming relationship with loss, not “moving on”
Exploration of past conditioning affecting grief response
Body awareness and somatic experiencing
Integration of insights between sessions

Core Process Psychotherapy unfolds uniquely for each person. The work isn’t about forgetting or “moving on”—horrible phrase that implies leaving your loved one behind. Instead, it’s about transforming your relationship with loss. Your person is gone physically, but your relationship with them continues, evolves, finds new expression.

You’ll explore how past conditioning influences your grief response. Maybe you learned early that showing pain meant weakness. These patterns aren’t wrong, but understanding them creates choice about whether to continue them.

Body awareness features strongly. Grief lives in our bodies—that chest tightness, the hollow stomach, tension headaches. Through gentle attention, these physical holdings can begin to soften.

Techniques Used

Buddhist-informed techniques used in sessions:

Mindfulness practices – Observing thoughts/feelings without being swept away
Breathing exercises – Learning to breathe with pain rather than against it
Walking meditation – Grounding in physical presence
Compassion cultivation – Developing self-kindness
Body scanning – Noticing where grief is held physically
Integration work – Discovering how to carry grief while engaging with life

Mindfulness practices adapted for grief can be remarkably helpful. This isn’t about emptying your mind—impossible when grief fills every corner. Instead, you learn to observe: “I notice sadness arising. I notice these are thoughts, not fixed truths.”

Meditation might feature, but not the rigid, cross-legged variety. Sometimes it’s simply learning to breathe with your pain instead of against it. Compassion cultivation—for yourself primarily—threads through everything. Learning to treat yourself with the kindness you’d show a grieving friend can be revolutionary.

Integration work helps you discover how to carry your grief whilst engaging with life. Because despite what early grief insists, you will laugh again. The question becomes: how do you honour your loss whilst allowing life to continue flowing through you?

Online and In-Person Bereavement Counselling

In-Person Sessions in Central London

Location details for face-to-face counselling:

Address: 8 Hop Gardens, St Martins Lane, London WC2N 4EH
Nearest stations: Leicester Square and Covent Garden (tube)
Setting: Private, comfortable therapy room in quiet building
Alternative location: North London (NW3 2NP) for Hampstead/Belsize Park residents
Environment: Non-clinical, warm space designed for emotional safety

There’s something powerful about physically entering a space dedicated to your healing. The journey itself—leaving your home, travelling through London’s familiar chaos, arriving somewhere solely for you—can feel like a ritual of self-care.

The therapy room is private and comfortable. No clinical brightness or uncomfortable chairs. This is a space where you can ugly-cry without apology, rage safely, or sit in silence when words fail. Tissues are always within reach, though there’s no expectation you’ll need them.

Online Counselling Across the UK

Online bereavement counselling options:

Platforms available: Skype, Telephone, FaceTime
Benefits: Attend from your safe space, no travel stress, flexible scheduling
Ideal for: Those outside London, mobility challenges, frequent travellers
Quality: Same therapeutic support as in-person sessions
Convenience: Evening sessions easier without commute time

The pandemic transformed how we think about online therapy. Marie Curie reports that demand for online bereavement support has increased significantly, with many people finding unexpected benefits.

Sessions from your own space—wrapped in a familiar blanket, with your pet nearby—can feel safer than clinical settings. Mark’s presence translates through screens, his attention undimmed by distance.

Online counselling removes the pressure of “keeping it together” for the journey home—you can fall apart in your own space, then move directly into self-care. Grief doesn’t follow a 9-to-5 schedule; neither should support.

About Mark Shiels – Your Bereavement Counsellor

Mark Shiels‘ qualifications and approach:

UKCP Registered Psychotherapist
Masters in Philosophy (Trinity College Dublin)
Trained at Karuna Institute (only UKCP-accredited Buddhist Psychology training in Western Europe)
Integrative approach combining Buddhist, Jungian, and Gestalt therapies
Influenced by Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, Jack Kornfield
Inclusive, non-sectarian practice welcoming all beliefs
Professional experience in business and charitable sectors

Behind every therapeutic approach stands a human being. Mark brings not just professional qualifications but a depth of understanding that comes from genuine engagement with both Buddhist practice and the complexities of human suffering.

Training at the Karuna Institute wasn’t simply professional development—this represents years of study, practice, and supervised clinical work. His integration of Jungian psychology brings depth and symbolic understanding. The influence of Gestalt therapy adds practical techniques.

Importantly, Mark runs an explicitly inclusive, non-sectarian practice. You needn’t be Buddhist, spiritual, or hold any particular beliefs. The techniques work regardless of your faith or lack thereof.

Practical Information

Getting Started

How to book bereavement counselling:

Phone: 07973 890 164 (if talking feels easier)
Email: mark@buddhistpsychotherapy.org.uk (if you need time to craft words)
Initial consultation: Gentle exploration of whether working together feels right
No pressure: “I need help with grief” is enough to start
Questions welcome: Session length, frequency, approach all discussable

Taking the first step feels monumental when grief has sapped your energy. The process has been made as simple as possible. There’s no assessment where you might fail—it’s a gentle exploration of whether working together feels right.

Investment in Your Wellbeing

Understanding the value of bereavement counselling:

Investment in your capacity to live alongside grief
Sessions typically 50 minutes
Frequency depends on your needs (weekly, fortnightly, or monthly)
Cost represents commitment to healing and appropriate boundaries
The price of unaddressed grief often exceeds therapeutic fees
Arrangements sometimes possible if fees are prohibitive

Let’s address the elephant in the room: therapy costs money. Cost concerns prevent many from accessing support they desperately need.

Without discussing specific fees (these can be explored when you make contact), know that this is an investment in your capacity to live alongside grief rather than being crushed by it. Your wellbeing matters more than rigid fee structures.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does bereavement counselling take?

There’s no standard duration for bereavement counselling. Some people find significant relief after 6-12 sessions, while others benefit from longer-term support, especially with complicated grief or multiple losses. The counselling continues as long as it’s helpful—you’re not committed to a predetermined programme. Grief doesn’t follow schedules; neither should support.

Is Buddhist counselling religious?

No, Buddhist counselling is not religious. While the approach draws on Buddhist philosophy and psychology, there’s no religious content unless you specifically want to explore spiritual dimensions. You won’t be asked to adopt any beliefs, chant, or meditate unless these practices appeal to you. It uses insights about suffering and healing developed over millennia, without religious requirements.

Can I have counselling years after a loss?

Yes, absolutely. Sometimes grief gets buried under life’s demands, surfacing years later when triggered by another loss or life change. There’s no expiry date on needing support. Whether your loss was last week or last decade, if it’s affecting you now, it deserves attention and professional support.

What’s the difference between grief counselling and bereavement counselling?

Practically speaking, there’s little difference. Bereavement counselling specifically addresses loss through death, while grief counselling might encompass broader losses like divorce, redundancy, or loss of health. The same therapeutic approaches help regardless of the type of loss. Both focus on helping you process and integrate loss into your life.

Will counselling make me forget my loved one?

Never. Bereavement counselling doesn’t aim to make you forget or “move on.” The goal is to transform your relationship with loss, allowing you to carry your loved one’s memory with love rather than desperate pain. Many people find their connection actually deepens through therapy, becoming integrated presence rather than overwhelming absence.

Can Buddhist therapy help if I’m not Buddhist?

Yes, absolutely. Most people who benefit from Buddhist-informed therapy aren’t Buddhist. The techniques—mindfulness, compassion practices, present-moment awareness—work regardless of your beliefs or lack thereof. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t resonate. No belief system required.

Is online counselling as effective as in-person?

Research increasingly confirms that online bereavement counselling can be just as effective as in-person sessions. The therapeutic relationship—that crucial connection between mourning counsellor and client—can develop equally strongly online. Some people find it easier to open up from their own space. Choose the format that feels right for you.

How do I know if I have complicated grief?

Complicated grief typically involves symptoms that significantly interfere with daily functioning after many months: inability to accept the reality of loss, intense persistent yearning, feeling that life is meaningless, or extreme avoidance of reminders. However, you don’t need a specific diagnosis to seek therapeutic support. If grief feels unmanageable, that’s reason enough to reach out for help.

Resources and Support

While counselling provides dedicated support, additional resources can complement your healing journey. The landscape of grief support has expanded considerably, recognising that different approaches suit different people.

For immediate support, several organisations offer helplines. Cruse Bereavement Support provides free support on 0808 808 1677.

Reading about others’ experiences with grief—particularly through a Buddhist lens—might resonate. Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart” offers profound wisdom about working with loss. Mark Epstein’s “The Trauma of Everyday Life” explores how Buddhist psychology understands and transforms suffering.

Take the First Step Towards Healing

Summary: Professional bereavement counselling offers compassionate support for anyone struggling with grief. You don’t need to face loss alone. Contact Mark Shiels for Buddhist-informed grief therapy that honours your pain whilst gently guiding you towards healing.

Somewhere in reading this, you might have felt a spark of recognition. Perhaps in the description of grief as love with nowhere to go, or the idea that your wholeness remains despite loss, or simply in knowing that someone understands how bloody hard this is.

That recognition is your wisdom speaking. The part of you that knows healing is possible, even when it feels impossible.

You don’t have to face grief alone. Yes, ultimately you must walk your own path through loss—no one can do that for you. But having a skilled, compassionate companion for that journey changes everything. Someone who won’t try to fix you, rush you, or minimise your pain.

Making contact doesn’t commit you to anything except a conversation. You can call 07973 890 164. You can email mark@buddhistpsychotherapy.org.uk if writing feels easier. Take your time. There’s no pressure, no judgment, just an open door when you’re ready.

Buddhist philosophy teaches that suffering is inevitable but optional suffering—the additional layers we add through resistance, isolation, self-criticism—can be transformed. Your grief is real and valid and deserves witnessing. Your pain matters. You matter.

The poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote, “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.” Your grief might feel like the fiercest dragon imaginable. But within it lies the possibility of profound transformation—not back to who you were, but forward to who you might become.

That journey begins with a single step. A phone call. An email. The simple, courageous act of saying, “I need help.”

Everything else follows from there.

For compassionate bereavement counselling combining Buddhist wisdom with professional psychotherapy, contact Mark Shiels today. Sessions available in Central London (WC2N 4EH) and online throughout the UK.

Phone: 07973 890 164
Email: mark@buddhistpsychotherapy.org.uk

You don’t have to navigate grief alone. Professional support is available when you’re ready.

September 3, 2025/0 Comments/by admin